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最終更新日 : 2012/01/30 (Mon) 07:53
最終更新日 : 2012/01/30 (Mon) 07:53
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Always go to other people\'s funerals, otherwise they won\'t come to yours.
One doesn\'t have a sense of humor. It has you.
The President has kept all of the promises he intended to keep.
Humor is the only test of gravity, and gravity of humor; for a subject which will not bear raillery is suspicious, and a jest which will not bear serious examination is false wit.
Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain as marijuana. The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two but can\'t remember what they are.
I\'m not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president.
Despite the high cost of living, it remains popular.
Research is what I\'m doing when I don\'t know what I\'m doing.
Why don\'t they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff.
To understand a man you should walk a mile in his shoes. If what he says still bothers you that\'s ok because you\'ll be a mile away from him and you\'ll have his shoes.
2 + 2 = 5, for extremely large values of 2.
My current job sucks so hard, black holes are going green with envy.
The study of non-linear physics is like the study of non-elephant biology.
In all large corporations, there is a pervasive fear that someone, somewhere is having fun with a computer on company time. Networks help alleviate that fear.
... one of the main causes of the fall of the Roman Empire was that, lacking zero, they had no way to indicate successful termination of their C programs.
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Minsky\'s Second Law: Don\'t just do something. Stand there.
UNIX is basically a simple operating system, but you have to be a genius to understand the simplicity.
It\'s strange, isn\'t it. You stand in the middle of a library and go \'aaaaagghhhh\' and everyone just stares at you. But you do the same thing on an aeroplane, and everyone joins in.
I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it\'s fantastic.
It\'s clearly a budget. It\'s got a lot of numbers in it.
I\'m trying to see things from your point of view but I can\'t get my head that far up my ass.
How wrong it is for a woman to expect the man to build the world she wants, rather than to create it herself.
As the post said, \'Only God can make a tree,\' probably because it\'s so hard to figure out how to get the bark on.
Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I\'m not there, I go to work.
Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I\'m not sure about the former.
Lohr\'s Law: The future is merely the past with a twist ? and better tools.
A state of war only serves as an excuse for domestic tyranny.
Be tolerant of the human race. Your whole family belongs to it -- and some of your spouse\'s family too.
If a man does his best, what else is there?
When you hear hoofbeats, think of horses, not zebras.
Early to rise, Early to bed, Makes a man healthy but socially dead.
Comedy is nothing more than tragedy deferred.
He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.
Computer Science is no more about computers than astronomy is about telescopes
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
Sex is like air. It\'s only a big deal if you can\'t get any.
The only way to combat criminals is by not voting for them.
There is a charm about the forbidden that makes it unspeakably diserable.
It is practically imposible to teach good programming to students that have had a prior exposure to BASIC: as potential programmers they are mentally mutilated beyond hope of regeneration.
People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid.
Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture.
Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal.
The chain reaction of evil -- wars producing more wars -- must be broken, or we shall be plunged into the dark abyss of annihilation.
The power of accurate observation is frequently called cynicism by those who don\'t have it.
One doesn\'t have a sense of humor. It has you.
A pint of sweat, saves a gallon of blood.
When I told the people of Northern Ireland that I was an atheist, a woman in the audience stood up and said, \'Yes, but is it the God of the Catholics or the God of the Protestants in whom you don\'t believe?
A [pseudo]random number generator is much like sex: when it\'s good it\'s wonderful, and when it\'s bad it\'s still pretty good.
Real punks help little old ladies across the street because it shocks more people than if they spit on the sidewalk.
I know that there are people in this world who do not love their fellow human beings, and I hate people like that.
I could not possibly fail to disagree with you less.
A pint of sweat, saves a gallon of blood.
The trouble with the Internet is that it\'s replacing masturbation as a leisure activity.
Having the source code is the difference between buying a house and renting an apartment.
Most people would sooner die than think; in fact, they do so.
Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.
Object-oriented programming is an exceptionally bad idea which could only have originated in California.
Nothing is wrong with California that a rise in the ocean level wouldn\'t cure.
Because I do it with one small ship, I am called a terrorist. You do it with a whole fleet and are called an emperor.
If the United Nations once admits that international disputes can be settled by using force, then we will have destroyed the foundation of the organization and our best hope of establishing a world order.
Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal.
If it weren\'t for electricity we\'d all be watching television by candlelight.
Happiness is good health and a bad memory.
Anything that is too stupid to be spoken is sung.
Comedy is nothing more than tragedy deferred.
Maybe there is no actual place called hell. Maybe hell is just having to listen to our grandparents breathe through their noses when they\'re eating sandwiches.
Science is what people understand well enough to explain to a computer. All else is art.
I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it\'s fantastic.
Hofstadter\'s Law: It always takes longer than you expect, even when you take into account Hofstadter\'s Law.
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The internet is not something you just dump something on. It\'s not a truck. It\'s a series of tubes!
Research is what I\'m doing when I don\'t know what I\'m doing.
I have seen the future and it is just like the present, only longer.
If you put tomfoolery into a computer, nothing comes out of it but tomfoolery. But this tomfoolery, having passed through a very expensive machine, is somehow enobled and no-one dares criticize it.
Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.
The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his.
There is only one nature - the division into science and engineering is a human imposition, not a natural one. Indeed, the division is a human failure; it reflects our limited capacity to comprehend the whole.
Don\'t drive me crazy -- it\'s within walking distance.
You can pretend to be serious; you can\'t pretend to be witty.
Machine. Unexpectedly, I\'d invented a time
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From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.
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From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.
Each problem that I solved became a rule which served afterwards to solve other problems.
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I once heard two ladies going on and on about the pains of childbirth and how men don\'t seem to know what real pain is. I asked if either of them ever got themselves caught in a zipper.
Everything that can be invented has been invented.
Some editors are failed writers, but so are most writers.
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Gigerenzer\'s Law of Indispensable Ignorance: The world cannot function without partially ignorant people.
Sometimes, the best answer is a more interesting question
Look at you in war. There has never been a just one, never an honorable one, on the part of the instigator of the war.
Every nation has its war party. It is not the party of democracy. It is the party of autocracy. It seeks to dominate absolutely.
One doesn\'t have a sense of humor. It has you.
A mind all logic is like a knife all blade. It makes the hand bleed that uses it.
If everything seems under control, you\'re just not going fast enough.
Men are not disturbed by things, but the view they take of things.
C++: an octopus made by nailing extra legs onto a dog
A committee is a group of people who individually can do nothing but together can decide that nothing can be done.
In ancient times they had no statistics so they had to fall back on lies.
Be nice to people on your way up because you meet them on your way down.
The difference between what the most and the least learned people know is inexpressibly trivial in relation to that which is unknown.
If there is no Hell, a good many preachers are obtaining money under false pretences.
Don\'t knock masturbation, it\'s sex with someone I love .
The de facto role of the US armed forces will be to keep the world safe for our economy and open to our cultural assault.
The years of peak mental activity are undoubtedly between the ages of four and eighteen. At four we know all the questions, at eighteen all the answers.
Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance.
It was God who made me so beautiful. If I weren\'t, then I\'d be a teacher.
The only difference between me and a madman is that I\'m not mad.
Real Programmers always confuse Christmas and Halloween because Oct31 == Dec25 !
Well-timed silence hath more eloquence than speech.
Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance.
Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you.
You ask me if I keep a notebook to record my great ideas. I\'ve only ever had one.
And the clueless shall spend their time reinventing the wheel while the elite merely use the Wordstar key mappings
Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
Biologically speaking, if something bites you it\'s more likely to be female.
I\'m always amazed to hear of air crash victims so badly mutilated that they have to be identified by their dental records. What I can\'t understand is, if they don\'t know who you are, how do they know who your dentist is?
Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.
It\'s not that I\'m afraid to die, I just don\'t want to be there when it happens.
If everything seems under control, you\'re just not going fast enough.
A fast word about oral contraception. I asked a girl to go to bed with me, she said \'no\'.
[War] might be avoidable were more emphasis placed on the training to social interest, less on the attainment of egotistical grandeur.
Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain as marijuana. The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two but can\'t remember what they are.
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Diplomacy is the art of saying \'Nice doggie!\'... \'til you can find a rock.
One doesn\'t have a sense of humor. It has you.
Experience is what you get when you were expecting something else.
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Barab?si\'s Law of Programming: Program development ends when the program does what you expect it to do ? whether it is correct or not.
We\'re going to turn this team around 360 degrees.
Devlin\'s First Law - Buyer beware: in the hands of a charlatan, mathematics can be used to make a vacuous argument look impressive. Devlin\'s Second Law - So can PowerPoint.
If it wasn\'t for muscle spasms, I wouldn\'t get any exercise at all.
Manuscript: something submitted in haste and returned at leisure.
I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.
Early to rise and early to bed. Makes a male healthy, wealthy and dead.
It is time I stepped aside for a less experienced and less able man.
It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong.
I must confess, I was born at a very early age.
It is much more comfortable to be mad and know it, than to be sane and have one\'s doubts.
Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
Humor is the great thing, the saving thing. The minute it crops up, all our irritations and resentments slip away and a sunny spirit takes their place.
A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices.
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He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.
Ask people why they have deer heads on their walls and they tell you it\'s because they\'re such beautiful animals. I think my wife is beautiful, but I only have photographs of her on the wall.
Give me chastity and continence, but not yet.
If you think it\'s simple, then you have misunderstood the problem.
The most overlooked advantage of owning a computer is that if they foul up there\'s no law against whacking them around a bit.
Fill the unforgiving minute with sixty seconds worth of distance run.
All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident.
Pray, v.: To ask that the laws of the universe be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.
Distrust any enterprise that requires new clothes.
The wireless music box has no imaginable commercial value. Who would pay for a message sent to nobody in particular?
Emulate your heros, but don\'t carry it too far. Especially if they are dead.
Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo.
Java, the best argument for Smalltalk since C++.
The instinct of nearly all societies is to lock up anybody who is truly free. First, society begins by trying to beat you up. If this fails, they try to poison you. If this fails too, the finish by loading honors on your head.
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You\'ll notice that Nancy Reagan never drinks water when Ronnie speaks.
The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.
Barab?si\'s Law of Programming: Program development ends when the program does what you expect it to do ? whether it is correct or not.
Tact is the ability to tell a man he has an open mind when he has a hole in his head.
If you\'re sick and tired of the politics of cynicism and polls and principles, come and join this campaign.
There\'s many a bestseller that could have been prevented by a good teacher.
Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.
When ideas fail, words come in very handy.
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Some men, in order to prevent the supposed intentions of their adversaries, have committed the most enormous cruelties.
Silence is argument carried out by other means.
Sometimes, the best answer is a more interesting question
I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.
Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
It is only those who have neither fired a shot nor heard the shrieks and groans of the wounded who cry aloud for blood... War is hell.
Military glory -- that attractive rainbow, that rises in showers of blood -- that serpent\'s eye, that charms to destroy...
Science is what people understand well enough to explain to a computer. All else is art.
Everything is drive-through. In California, they even have a burial service called Jump-In-The-Box.
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How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter?
The worst barbarity of war is that it forces men collectively to commit acts against which individually they would revolt with their whole being.
The purpose of computing is not numbers but insight.
There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.
If Tyranny and Oppression come to this land, it will be in the guise of fighting a foreign enemy.
Fill what\'s empty, empty what\'s full, and scratch where it itches.
Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog. Few people are interested and the frog dies of it.
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A poem is never finished, only abandoned.
Go on, get out. Last words are for fools who haven\'t said enough.
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If people are good only because they fear punishment, and hope for reward, then we are a sorry lot indeed.
It\'s wonderful to be here in the great state of Chicago.
A little inaccuracy sometimes saves a ton of explanation.
Invading Iraq after 9/11 was like invading Mexico after Pearl Harbor.
I begin by taking. I shall find scholars later to demonstrate my perfect right.
If a man does his best, what else is there?
Devlin\'s First Law - Buyer beware: in the hands of a charlatan, mathematics can be used to make a vacuous argument look impressive. Devlin\'s Second Law - So can PowerPoint.
Everywhere I go I\'m asked if I think the university stifles writers. My opinion is that they don\'t stifle enough of them.
The problem with people who have no vices is that generally you can be pretty sure they\'re going to have some pretty annoying virtues.
It is better to be quotable than to be honest.
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The only way to combat criminals is by not voting for them.
2 + 2 = 5, for extremely large values of 2.
Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.
When I am working on a problem I never think about beauty. I only think about how to solve the problem. But when I have finished, if the solution is not beautiful, I know it is wrong.
Modern capitalism is not about free markets, it is about building sufficient mass that the market gravitationally collapses around you.
Death does not concern us, because as long as we exist, death is not here. And when it does come, we no longer exist.
Go on, get out. Last words are for fools who haven\'t said enough.
An inconvenience is only an adventure wrongly considered; an adventure is an inconvenience rightly considered.
Dying is a very dull, dreary affair. And my advice to you is to have nothing whatever to do with it.
Conservatives are not necessarily stupid, but most stupid people are conservatives
I have spoken many a word, therefore, it is fact.
I\'m all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let\'s start with typewriters.
Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
Either he\'s dead or my watch has stopped.
It\'s not the size of the dog in the fight, it\'s the size of the fight in the dog.
> > > Goodbye to all! Thanks for years of great fun and good > > > business! > > Suicide or MS C++? > Is there a difference? Suicide hurts only once...
A radioactive cat has eighteen half-lives.
You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.
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In Germany they first came for the Communists, and I didn\'t speak up because I wasn\'t a Communist. Then they came for the Jews, and I didn\'t speak up because I wasn\'t a Jew. Then they came for the trade unionists, and I didn\'t speak up because I wasn\'t a trade unionist. Then they came for the Catholics, and I didn\'t speak up because I was a Protestant. Then they came for me - and by that time no one was left to speak up.
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Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped.
Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?
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I don\'t believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear.
Always go to other people\'s funerals, otherwise they won\'t come to yours.
Computer dating is fine, if you\'re a computer.
It is time I stepped aside for a less experienced and less able man.
Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain as marijuana. The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two but can\'t remember what they are.
There are some experiences in life which should not be demanded twice from any man, and one of them is listening to the Brahms Requiem.
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Why did God create dentists? -- In his infinite love, he thought it would be charitable to His creatures to let them see what Hell is like, during their lives.
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It\'s not that I\'m afraid to die, I just don\'t want to be there when it happens.
Well-timed silence hath more eloquence than speech.
The artist is nothing without the gift, but the gift is nothing without work.
A state of war only serves as an excuse for domestic tyranny.
To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance
There is a charm about the forbidden that makes it unspeakably diserable.
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It\'s wonderful to be here in the great state of Chicago.
One out of every three Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of two of your best friends. If they are OK, then it must be you.
Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
If everything seems under control, you\'re just not going fast enough.
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Anyone who starts a sentence, \'With all due respect ...\' is about to insult you.
I\'ve never seen anyone change his mind because of the power of a superior argument or the acquisition of new facts. But I\'ve seen plenty of people change behavior to avoid being mocked.
Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal.
If you need more than five lines to prove something, then you are on the wrong track
In ancient times they had no statistics so they had to fall back on lies.
The only one listening to both sides of an argument is the neighbor in the next apartment
In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.
Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit upon his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.
My occupation now, I suppose, is jail inmate.
Barab?si\'s Law of Programming: Program development ends when the program does what you expect it to do ? whether it is correct or not.
One doesn\'t have a sense of humor. It has you.
When you\'ve seen one non-sequitur, the price of tea in China.
Attention to health is life\'s greatest hindrance.
Thank you for sending me a copy of your book - I\'ll waste no time reading it.
The graveyards are full of indispensable men.
The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
Distrust any enterprise that requires new clothes.
How wrong it is for a woman to expect the man to build the world she wants, rather than to create it herself.
A picture is worth a thousand words (which is why it takes a thousand times longer to load...)
Sometimes, the best answer is a more interesting question
A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls.
A man can\'t get rich if he takes proper care of his family.
It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education.
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The cry has been that when war is declared, all opposition should be hushed. A sentiment more unworthy of a free country could hardly be propagated.
Thank you for sending me a copy of your book - I\'ll waste no time reading it.
The worst barbarity of war is that it forces men collectively to commit acts against which individually they would revolt with their whole being.
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There is only one nature - the division into science and engineering is a human imposition, not a natural one. Indeed, the division is a human failure; it reflects our limited capacity to comprehend the whole.
When I am working on a problem I never think about beauty. I only think about how to solve the problem. But when I have finished, if the solution is not beautiful, I know it is wrong.
We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture.
You can only find truth with logic if you have already found truth without it.
It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has exceeded our humanity.
A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls.
Sometimes, the best answer is a more interesting question
Just because bulldozers are used to build highways doesn\'t mean bulldozers are the best way to travel on a highway.
The difference between \'involvement\' and \'commitment\' is like an eggs-and-ham breakfast: the chicken was \'involved\' - the pig was \'committed\'.
A physicist is an atom\'s way of knowing about atoms.
All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident.
If you need more than five lines to prove something, then you are on the wrong track
The years of peak mental activity are undoubtedly between the ages of four and eighteen. At four we know all the questions, at eighteen all the answers.
The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. The opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth.
Mother-in-law = A woman who destroys her son-in-law\'s peace of mind by giving him a piece of hers.
I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
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The only way to combat criminals is by not voting for them.
Research is what I\'m doing when I don\'t know what I\'m doing.
Heaven is an American salary, a Chinese cook, an English house, and a Japanese wife. Hell is defined as having a Chinese salary, an English cook, a Japanese house, and an American wife.
It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating.
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A [pseudo]random number generator is much like sex: when it\'s good it\'s wonderful, and when it\'s bad it\'s still pretty good.
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Wise men make proverbs, but fools repeat them.
Why don\'t they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff.
最終更新日 : 2012/01/17/(Tue) 16:40
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